joget kasih tak jadi

awan bergulung tuan di hari senja
nampak berbalam biru warnanya
tuan di gunung paya hamba di paya
dalam jambangan temu ingin bersama

terbang serindit tuan dengan kedidi
singgah di kayu di rumpun kayu
kasih menitik tuan basah tak jadi
walau bertahun rindu menanggung rindu

hatiku yang resah kubawa berdendang
memujuk diri dijeling tidak
sepantun berdendang dondanglah asmara
cuma igauan dalam igauan

berdendang hamba tuan bertepuk tuan
senyum di bibir hati terluka
kasih diberi orang dijeling orang
terasa hiba tidak terkira

sudilah tuan nyanyi bersama
alunan lagu hai kasih tak sampai
susunlah langkah layu di muka
tanda di hati hai masih berdarah

pantun berpantun tuan, mak andam sayang
berjual beli pantun melayu
walau dialun tuan, gurindam sayang
luka di hati orang tak tahu

kusulam kasih emas berbenang emas
orang bertaruh baiknya rupa
walaupun kasih balas tidak berbalas
tidak kukesal itu jadinya...

k.....k....k....1

i got to know him earlier this year. i was working with this big company. being one of the staffs in the department where money comes and go requires me to deal with the bank a lot.
i have to call them everyday. normally it was my supervisor who would make all the calls, until one day she decided to pass the duty to me...

'kb, i think you better call K from **** Bank. its easier .'

after a long pause she continued 'and you can get to know him, he's really nice...'

fine, now i'm the one who have to call the bank...everyday....damn it...

that was when it all started....

K : hello, **** Bank.

kb : hello, may I speak to Encik K please.

K : speaking.

kb : hi, this is kb from ***.

K : hi, what can i do for you?

kb : i'm calling regarding...bla...bla...bla...

K : it's like this...bla...bla...bla

kb : ok...thank u so much.

K : no problem.

...click...hhmmmm.....ok, he's kinda nice...
it was an everyday thing from that day....and it started to feel so nice to hear his voice...
up to where i dont have to introduce myself...he would recognized me from my 'hello' and he would mentioned my name after i said 'hello'....the way he said my name 'kbbbb...' was so niceeee.......with his husky n 'manja' voice....
its goes right deep into my soul...hehehehehe.....
one more thing i like about him is when he laugh....there's something about his laughter...

those days were beautiful...with just one phone call, then my day would be completed...
(gile bayang ape ???)

but do i get to see him?? ...sighhhh.....

he's online....

oh God...he's online.....
and my heart beats so fast...

my ex baby...DL...
i still have feelings for him, even after what he did to me...
i would take him if he knocks on my door...again....

"r u out of ur mind?? dah lupe ape die dah buat kat ko??"
dah terdengar bebelan miss J di telingaku jika ditakdirkan bersama dengan DL semula...
ahh...tak mungkin...

he's online again after he went for his raya break overseas with his beloved parents...
the last time we talked was one day before he flew and it was not really a pleasant conversation...
and not even an ucapan of 'selamat hari raya' from him up to today...
what did i do to deserve this from him?? i could not figure it out...
feel like giving him a buzz, but takut pulak nanti luka lame berdarah kembali..
takut untuk sakit sekali lagi...
tapi i miss him so very much....

aarrrrgghhhhh!!!!!!!!!
soal hati memang payah nak diungkaikan...
kadang-kadang memang malas nak layan soal hati sendiri...

is this for real???

wow...i could not believe myself...i'm blogging..
someone introduce me to this blogging thingy about a year ago, and even asked me to create my own blog. i said nahh...i dont think i can write anything.
but today, i'm posting my first post...hhmmm....
i would normally keep evrything...my thoughts, my opinions, my problems to myself..
but now i will post it on my blog...i will let it out my chest for the whole world to know..
huh, i just luv these dotted lines.............